5 Great Ways to Bless Your Pastor’s Wife, by Ty Tamasaka

5 Great Ways to Bless Your Pastor’s Wife, by Ty Tamasaka


One of the toughest and most significant ministries in the church is being the pastor’s wife.  Although she is the pastor’s most important cheerleader, it is true that being that pastor’s wife can be one of the loneliest and most difficult jobs in the church.    

In this post, I’d like to offer 5 great ways to honor your pastor’s wife

1 – Don’t place too many expectations on her.

Don’t expect her to be super-human.  Regardless of the size of a church, the pastor’s wife cannot be everywhere and know everything… nor should she be required to.  Although she carries the title of “Pastor’s wife” her primary calling is to her family, not the church. Her responsibility is primarily to fulfill that role, and then, like anyone else, be faithful in identifying where God would have her use her gifts and serve the church.

Accept the fact that she is a normal wife, mom, woman and follower of Jesus. Her spiritual life is not somehow easier because her husband is a pastor – it is likely much harder. She struggles and needs grace just like you do.  Don’t put on her your expectations of what you think she should or shouldn’t be.  Let her be herself.

2 – Allow her to have a family life.

Pastors are pulled in many different directions.  That is the nature of the job and the calling.  The Pastor’s family understands that, though they struggle with it.  Pastors often face unreasonable pressures and demands that impact his family life.  As part of the church, do your best to limit the demands of your pastor and his wife to normal working hours.

Send an email rather than calling him at home if it’s not an eminent concern.  Honor your pastor and his wife by respecting their family time.

3 – Love her more than you love (or hate) the church.

Pastor’s wives often struggle with growing deep relationships out of fear that a friend may eventually leave the church, and in so doing, leave her.  Don’t let your level of happiness at church dictate your depth of commitment and loyalty to her as a friend.  Be a friend.  When you introduce her to others, introduce her as your friend, not as your pastor’s wife.  Don’t define her by her husband’s job.  Respect her enough to acknowledge she has her own name, identity and desire to be known as a woman and a friend.

4 – Don’t talk “church business” when you are hanging out. 

It is likely that her husband’s career, home, and most of her social life all revolve around the church, its people, and its activities.  There are times your pastor’s wife needs a break from all of that.  Honor your pastor’s wife by not feeling like you need to constantly talk about church business when she’s around.  Let her bring up church stuff only if she wants to.

5 – Pray for your pastor, and his family.

Take the time to go before God on behalf of your pastor, his wife, and children.  The Enemy takes the role of the pastor’s wife seriously, and so should we.  Honor and love her well by praying for her and her family regularly.

What would you add to this list?

Ty Tamasaka is an author who hold a Master of Arts Degree from Pacific Rim Christian University in Christian Ministry  He is a Bible teacher who loves to encourage people to enjoy Jesus’ grace and extend His Kingdom. Ty just released his new book More than a Conqueror: 5 Pathways to Personal Revival.    


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